“Dainty and superrefined, but really vile.”

(The above quote is by Manuel “Manolo” Blahnik Rodríguez, a.k.a Manolo Blahnik, who is the founder of a self-named, high-end brand of women’s shoes… as I learned recently. Read on.)

Okay, I can be really gullible. I admit it. And I was also never much of a boot guy before working with Titan (I wear the same pair of Merrells pretty much everywhere). When I started working with Titan last summer and they asked me to wear boots for my first scene in Surveillance, I only had a really old pair of uncomfortable hand-me-downs to wear, and when we were done filming, my feet were sore. Clearly, I needed new footwear… something particularly kick-ass.

A month later I was reunited with the Titan team in Palm Springs to film Incubus 2. (My scene was the one with Christopher Daniels and all those grapes.) I asked the gang (Brian Mills, Paul Wilde, François Sagat, Patrick Finger, and Jasun Mark) what would be a good brand of boots to buy. Paul, the resident boot expert (and director of Titan’s “Rough” series), started rattling off a list of suggestions. I eagerly took notes on my laptop. Here they are, verbatim:

Paratrooper boots (zip up the side, lace up front)
Rocky is a good brand
Demona brand (?) or Minola Blanik
Corcoran
Basic looking, not flashy
Stomper’s in SF sells boots (10th between Folsom and Harrison)
Mr. S (mainly Corcoran)
On Castro – Worn Out West (mainly consignment)
Normal price range is $150 or so

“Cool!” I said. “Thanks for the advice!” Clearly I’m not a “Sex and the City” fan, because I had no idea that Paul was playing a joke on me. Manolo Blahniks? Seriously? Who does he think I am, Carrie Bradshaw? Of course I had no clue that Mr. Blahnik’s stock in trade is boots like this:

Manolo Blahniks.

… so I eagerly accepted his advice and went on a Blahnik hunt.

The next time I was in San Francisco I marched confidently into Stomper’s and asked if they sold any Manolo Blahniks. Needless to say I got some very bewildered and amused looks. It wasn’t until much later that a friend of mine informed me that I’d been punk’d. I ended up getting a great pair of Corcorans, though. I love ’em, and have worn them in every Titan film since.

I think this Christmas I’ll buy Paul a Manolo Blahnik gift certificate. I’m sure he’d love that.

NOT Manolo Blahniks.