A Bend in the Rod… or, When Life Throws You a Curve

Photo from my Titan model application

A lot of people ask me about the curve of my dick. A lot of people. “Was it always that way?” is one of the most common questions I get on Facebook and Twitter.

The answer, in a word, is yes.

For as long as I can remember, my dick has had that dramatic downward bend. It hasn’t become more or less pronounced with time and my penis functions just fine, but when I was starting to come out in my early 20s (I didn’t have sex until I was 22… late bloomer, I know!) the shape of my cock was a major source of internalized embarrassment. Once I realized that my angle was a little unusual, I used to be very nervous that anyone seeing me for the first time would get really freaked out, or even laugh at me… even though to this day no one has ever said anything negative (I apparently even have a few admirers!). Back then, though, I started to believe that there was something wrong with me. Once, when I was 23 I think, I found an online listing for a doctor specializing in penile corrective surgery and emailed him about about the possibility of fixing my “problem.” I was still really shy about my sexuality and not quite comfortable with being open about my sexual orientation, so I lied and told him that I wanted to get my dick corrected because it was preventing me from having vaginal sex with my (non-existent) girlfriend. He wrote back that surgery was an option, but came with risks — most notably, the possibility of shortening or loss of function. I never contacted him again… and I’m glad I didn’t.

My “condition” (I hesitate even to call it such) is a mild form of Peyronie’s Disease, and it affects up to 10% of all men. It’s caused by fibrous plaque that builds up on one side of the shaft; that plaque causes the penis, when erect, to bend around it, resulting in a pronounced curve. According to Wikipedia, the cause is not well understood, but it’s thought to be associated with some sort of physical trauma. I can’t remember any traumatic injury, like getting hit in the crotch with a baseball or anything, but apparently it’s common not to recall anything specific. I don’t experience any pain, although when I’m erect I do have a considerable amount of discomfort when my dick is pressed upward toward my stomach, increasing the more you press upward. I’m very clear with my partners that “my dick doesn’t go that way,” and everyone understands.

If I do indeed have a medical condition, it’s one I do not mind having. In fact, there’s a multitude of special things that I can do. For example, I have the ability to hit the prostate in a rather unique way, and the sensation is rather intense. I learned this one evening in the back of a Honda Element where I encountered someone of a similar, uh, “bent” … he demonstrated the technique on me, I came instantly, and my sex life has never been the same. (If you’re reading this, you know who you are, you sexy beast. Thank you.) And I felt a certain satisfaction when I first walked into the Titan studio last August and director Brian Mills described me as having a “dick made for cocksucking.” It felt pretty fucking good to learn that there’s a place in the industry like me, even if I have some so-called “disease.”

My takeaway point here is that every penis is unique. Peyronie’s can be quite serious in some cases; if you’re experiencing loss of function or it causes you physical pain, by all means talk to a doctor about treatment options (surgery being one of several). Otherwise, though… don’t change a thing. Embrace yours, even if you think it looks weird or “abnormal.” It’s not… and I guarantee you that someone out there will be into it. And then you’ll get it into them. 😉

38 replies
  1. Bill Valle
    Bill Valle says:

    Well, I for one, think it is one of the most beautiful cocks I have ever seen. You now being a real porn star and I being a porn star dildo collector I can’t wait till they make one of yours, however I hope they do a better job on yours than they did on Francois Sagats’ beautiful up curved cock. You did say in one of your early blogs that you will know you are a porn star when they make a dildo of your cock….you are a now a porn star Grabby nominations and all, I wait patiently.

    Reply
  2. José Moura-Santos
    José Moura-Santos says:

    Jesse,
    You’re a gorgeous/handsome/bright man independently of the curve of your dick that by the way looks wonderful. Think that like you said you don’t feel pain or discomfort when you’re having sex or shooting your scenes that’s what counts. Even think that in the porn industry the “more singular” you are the more you have chances of success 🙂
    You’re in the right track so don’t let your particularity be a handicap but an advantage. I’m a fan for faraway Portugal.
    Hugs,
    José

    Reply
  3. .rod.
    .rod. says:

    Of course your dick is perfect for giving the orgasm with the prostate. Dirk must be blessed. Thanks for sharing. Stop surgery guys, just fuck us bottoms.

    Reply
  4. Azgaard
    Azgaard says:

                Jesse,
                Thanks for the explanation. I would have just said that the damn thing is so big, I can’t spare enough blood to fully inflate it 😉 And Peyronie’s Disease sounds so clinical. Just say you ‘suffer’ from Throatfucker’s Syndrome, for which the only known treatment is direct application of a rare enzyme secreted by the Uvula. 😉
                Take Care,
                A

    Reply
  5. S K
    S K says:

                Hey Jesse,
                Thanks for post! My penis erect is almost identical to yours and I’m exactly in the same shoes you were in at age 23. Would it be possible I could ask you some questions?

    Reply
      • S K
        S K says:

        Cool, thanks! What are the positions you talked about that hit the prostate for the guy bottoming? I sometimes experience discomfort when topping because my erection is being forced straight out. Have you ever experienced that? Do you have any tips for poistions that are comfortable for curve?

        Reply
        • Jesse
          Jesse says:

           
           
          Hey SK –

          The position that seems to get the biggest reaction out of people – and the one that my friend in the back of the SUV used on me – is a variation of doggie style which I have sometimes heard referred to as straight-legged doggie; basically both partners are lying face down, and you penetrate your partner from above. Regular doggie style works well too, but (based on the reaction of my partners) is a bit less intense. Another good one is cowboy (please forgive the heterosexual nature of that Wikipedia article!); with cowboy, it can be a little difficult to get your dick into position, but I’ve found that it helps if your partner leans back until you can get it in there… and that increases stimulation for him as well.

          My main point here, though, is to pay attention to your partner. Watch, listen, ask questions: “How’s that? Does that feel good? Does it hurt?” And your partner can do the same for you. By communication about what you like and what you don’t, you’ll be able to find a position that works for both of you. And trust me, they do exist… for a long time in my 20s I didn’t think I’d ever be able to find even one position that I’d like and would feel comfortable in, because of my angle. Now I know several. 😉 And when you find a good one, you’ll find that your dick won’t be forced straight out at all.

          Hope this helps!

          JJ

          Reply
    • Glenn
      Glenn says:

      I myself find that curve a real turnon but if the pain either of you experience should become more pronounced or painful you might look into the newer non surgical treatment with the drug Xiaflex. It involves a topical anesthetic to the penis and one or more injections with a small butterfly needle to disolve the plaque (followed by stretching and straightening exercises for a few weeks). More than one treatment may be necessary. The same drug is used for the treatment of a fingers that may become drawn and unable to be straightened. Here is some information should you be interested. Just wanted wanted to make you aware of this. https://peyronies-disease.xiaflex.com/patient/

      Reply
      • Jesse
        Jesse says:

        That’s really cool! Never heard of it before. I’ll read up on it and then probably do a follow-up post. Thank you very much! 😀

        Reply
  6. Rick van Sant
    Rick van Sant says:

    Hey Jesse,
          Reading your blog is like I read something I could have written myself. I have a very strong curve in my rod too (also bend downwards) and I also sometimes felt embarassed in the past when I was with men.
          For me that changed about 5 years ago when I did my first movie for Titanmen. Then I got so many reactions of guys who liked my cock (guys love the prostate rubbing when I fuck them 🙂 You know what I mean). Porn has had a great influence on my self-esteem and accepting the bend in my cock.
          I wish you lots of fun doing porn. Please say hi from me to Brian and the guys at Titanmen.
          Smiles, Rick van Sant

    Reply
    • Jesse
      Jesse says:

      Rick,
            What an absolute pleasure to hear from you! Your comment reflects my feelings about all this perfectly. It’s a great confidence booster, ain’t it? And yes, I know exactly what you mean with the prostate rubbing – the reaction it seems to elicit from a lot of guys is enough to drive me almost to the edge. 😀
            Thanks so much for writing. And I will definitely say hi to the Titan guys for you… although Brian’s taking an extended leave of absence so it might be a while before I see him. I’ll tell Paul, Bruce, and Keith you said hi though!
            Smiles back!
            Jesse

      Reply
  7. Marc T
    Marc T says:

    I stumbled upon your website by accident, and I wanted to say that there are those of us (myself included) who find downward-curving dicks extremely visually exciting! Be grateful, for there’s someone for everyone.

    Reply
  8. david
    david says:

    Hi Jesse, I feel a great admiration for you.The reason for this email, in addition to congratulate you is I am quite worried about the way that takes my penis when it reaches the erection, since bending down quite significantly, in that sense resembles your erect member, as I have seen with your photos.My penis erect is almost identical to yours. I am heterosexual and I am 18 years old and I have not yet had sex with any girl, especially because I have fear at the time of the penetration this will be impossible or painful or that can even disturb the girl.In this regard I would like to know your experience in this matter. I am sure that you must to have had any sexual encounter with a girl and I would like to know if ever you feel discomfort or has proved you difficult due to the curvature of your penis penetration.Anyway I think that if you are able to penetrate guys and maintain complete sexual intercourse then will not not be problematic to do the same with the girls (vaginas are more elastic and accesible tha anus) Do not you think? Do you think that if you want it it you could penetrate woman and your dick is perfect for giving a amazing orgasm to her? Please I would like me to answer since I am really acomplished and concerned. A GREETING AND THANK YOU.

    Reply
    • Jesse
      Jesse says:

      Hi David… thanks for writing! I’ve actually never had sex with a woman, but I’ve taken plenty of biology classes so I’ll do my best to answer your question. I think you’re going to be fine… in fact, you may actually be more than fine. There are plenty of sexual positions — it’s not all about missionary, y’know — so if you find one position to be uncomfortable, try another… and another… and another. 😉 Even in missionary you may find that the bend in your penis rubs up against her G-spot just right. Pay attention to her, ask her questions (“Does that feel good?”), and above all…. WEAR A CONDOM!!!!! Now go out there and have fun. 🙂

      Reply
  9. izann
    izann says:

    jesse
    Hi !! how are u ? just wanted to know more of u ….. … . looking in your FB photo, u are enjoying with your working environment is it your full time job ?? and read through your blog your friendly person and would like to share your experience.. so !!! by the way thanks for your creating of this blog for us to keep in touch with u 🙂

    Reply
  10. rohit
    rohit says:

    hey.. i m 24 yrs Indian guy… my cock size 7.5 and curved like u only… i am a medico student too…. n i think this is absolutely fine… peoples loves your sex that’s the fact.. i wish i could have met you in real….

    Reply
    • friend
      friend says:

      hi rohit how are you?my penis also same as like you curved downward.can u please explain the experience while intercourse.i am 21 now.i havent participated any sex still now.i afraid of my penis whether its possible to sex. Please reply me i am feeling nervous.

      Reply
      • Jesse
        Jesse says:

        Hi there! I was afraid too, the first few times… but you should look at the comments at the bottom of this page, especially this one. The bottom line is don’t do anything that’s painful If it’s painful, stop… and if it’s very painful, see a doctor, preferably a urologist. Keep trying different things… eventually you’ll be able to find a way to have sex that works both for you AND for your partner! Good luck!

        Reply
  11. Jon
    Jon says:

    I first started seeing pix of you floating around Tumblr a couple of years ago and I thought, “Who is that hot buff mo-fo?” When I noticed the curve in your dick, I was loving it, because:

    I have Peyronnie’s too, from an accident during sex, except mine bends up. Prior to that, in 2004, I had an average 7″ish dick was was a little thicker than most. The only complaint I ever got was that guys found it hard to deep-throat me.

    But now, the nature of my “condition” both shortened and narrowed my dick at the base. So it’s short and funny-looking with a narrow, pinched base and a fat top. As much as I’d like to think that I’m too self-actualized to have my ego tied up in my dick size, it’s a humbling and frustrating experience.

    Lucky for me, my husbear doesn’t mind and it did have a silver lining too: where as before my dick was too long for him to take orally, now it fits pretty well.

    So thanks from an anonymous brother out here in Austin who feels a little bit better for having read it. I hear there’s a promising treatment in the (crooked) pipeline called collagenase clostridium histolyticum. The problem is, it’s been in that goddam pipeline since 2006 with no signs of being approved yet.

    Awesome story about your mom, too, man. She sounds amazing.

    Reply
    • Jesse
      Jesse says:

      Hey Jon,

      A couple of years ago? Wow… must’ve been plucked from my Manhunt profile or something. I only started working with Titan a little over a year ago.

      Yeah, I can imagine how the injury must have been rough. Do you experience any pain at all? I guess I’m kinda fortunate… I’ve had it for as long as I can remember, so it’s all I’ve ever known. I’m happy to hear you’re enjoying the fringe benefits, too. 😉 And it looks like the prospects for the new treatment (should you choose to undergo it… you’d lose those blowjobs though, so maybe it’ll be a tough choice) just took a giant leap forward:

      On November 7, 2012, BioSpecifics announced “BioSpecifics Technologies Corp. : Reports Third Quarter 2012 Financial Results”. Auxilium’s submission of a License Application to the FDA for XIAFLEX for the potential treatment of Peyronie’s disease, an excess of inelastic collagen causing penile curvature deformity. If approved by the FDA, which Auxilium anticipates by the end of 2013, XIAFLEX is expected to be the first and only biologic therapy indicated for the treatment of Peyronie’s disease.

      (Source: Wikipedia)

      Reply
  12. GC
    GC says:

    I have often seen my peyronie’s disease as something that’s somewhat negative or unusual, but to see a porn star with the same issue confounds my previous view. I admire how you went from the same place – viewing it as ‘unusual’ – to a point where it’s viewed in a positive light. Where posts like this ( http://www.peyronies-disease.co.uk/2013/02/a-thought-on-peyronies-and-sexuality.htm ) point out some of the problems that peyronie’s disease can bring, the confidence you have with your sexuality offers a meaningful contrast.

    Reply
  13. GC
    GC says:

    I have often seen my peyronie’s disease as something that’s somewhat negative or unusual, but to see a porn star with the same issue confounds my previous view. I admire how you went from the same place – viewing it as ‘unusual’ – to a point where it’s viewed in a positive light. Where posts like this ( http://www.peyronies-disease.co.uk/2013/02/a-thought-on-peyronies-and-sexuality.html ) point out some of the problems that peyronie’s disease can bring, the confidence you have with your sexuality offers a meaningful contrast.

    (I messed up the URL in the previous comment, so reposted!)

    Reply
  14. Sman
    Sman says:

    Mine curves exactly the same, was insecure until I got drunk and finally did it. (Bout 22) now I have the upmost confidence. All the women give complements, thank me, and even squirt. Some girls wish to hold it while we sleep for some reason. I receive txt messages asking “how’s my favorite curved cock doing” and other crazy mind blowing BS. So silly I was insecure.

    Reply
  15. Robb
    Robb says:

    Jesse:
    First of all your amazing. And you and Dirk seem so happy. 🙂
    I am so intrigued by your penis. I love love the curve..
    You and Dirk are my favorites. Especially when you play together.
    I hope one day to meet you both.
    Thanks to you both for the great job you do!!!

    Reply
  16. CK
    CK says:

    Thank you so much! I cannot begin to describe the last 24 hours. I have had a curve similar to yours as long as I can remember and went through the same insecurities until college when I got up the nerve to become sexually active. Though I was always nervous during every first time I had with a partner, generally made it through without issue…that was until last night. All of a sudden I lost the confidence I had developed over the years and might as well have been that insecure teenager again. I could not keep an erection and felt so incredibly down on myself I had to stop without finishing. I spent the day just beating myself up, wishing I were “normal” and googling ways to fix my “problem,” again like that insecure and desperate adolescent. Anyway, google works in mysterious ways and I stumbled across this post. Thank you for your confidence and sharing it with us. It was the slap in the face I needed to get out of my funk and back in the bedroom!

    Reply
    • Jesse
      Jesse says:

      That’s awesome! I’m really happy you found the post and glad it gave you confidence! If anybody has an issue with the shape of your dick, it’s their problem… not yours! 🙂

      JJ

      Reply
  17. MY DICK
    MY DICK says:

    i shall be very thankful to you because i don’t think so i have any problem even two doctor also checked me they say its fine. im attaching my old pics. but now it is more then that time.that time may be my dick was around 5.5 but now its 6.2 .i know its may be psychological problem.

    have 6.2 inch penis 4.5 inch straight and and around 2 inch slight down curve.. i had sex with thirteen different girl but i never get any negative comment but i still fell insecure because i think am not able ot satisfy and make girls orgasm in missionary position ,, i think i can hit g spot in that position . pls tel i do always research on this topic i know about position behind from girls is the best but i want know something different from you. i also heard that from that point penis get curve it hit the g spot .. because vagina g spot if it exist but scientist say its also not conform,, can hit my penis because i have 4.5 inch straight,,

    And Jesse Jackman have u done sex with girls

    Reply
  18. esteban
    esteban says:

    I just fall in love with you, 🙂
    I as many of the guys on this blog have a very similar curve like yours, but my cock is also very thick, which makes it very hard for some guys to suck it and also sometimes to hard to fuck someone. I love my cock, and i feel super high attraction to guys with a curve similar to mine, I have only played with a couple of them but never been fucked by one and always wonder what it would feel like. I just came across a preview of your new movie, by Francois and Brian because Jasun mark posted something about it, and as soon as i saw your cock, i felt very interested and have been researching for you all day online… 🙂
    As a experience i usually find guys instantly abstracted to my cock, but later they find really hard to keep up with it, even a couple of long time ex-partners have told me after a break up, that they can’t take my cock anymore because it hurts their ass or their throat.. well… nothing i can do… anyway.. first time i talk about my curved dick, and i love that you have this blog… hope to meet you one day in person and learn many Technics from you, it seems like we know many people in common…:)
    Esteban

    Reply
  19. Joe
    Joe says:

    Hi there! I just wanted to tell you, that I’ve admired you for some time. I’m 24 and my dick is exactly, and I do mean exactly the same as yours. The size, shape, and the curve is identical. Growing up, and still even today I stress over my “unique” member. Embarrassment, low self esteem and confidence really hinders me. Thank you for sharing, you’ve given me something to think about- that maybe I really do have a gift, instead of a curse. 😉 take care Jesse!

    Reply

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] embarrassment for me (when it’s hard it has a dramatic downward bend, a condition called Peyronie’s disease). I used to be very nervous that anyone seeing it for the first time would get really freaked out, […]

  2. […] vers le bas. Une particularité anatomique qui a en fait une explication médicale. Sur son blog, Jack raconte être atteint de la maladie de La Peyronie, une forme de sclérose des […]

  3. […] vers le bas. Une particularité anatomique qui a en fait une explication médicale. Sur son blog, Jack raconte être atteint de la maladie de La Peyronie, une forme de sclérose des […]

  4. […] of the shape of his dick, which happens to look a lot like mine. (You can read the entire post here… scroll down to find David’s comment.) She thought my response — which was […]

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *