You have my pity

Last week I blogged about my run-in with an anti-porn crusader at my day job, and my company’s amazing support. Well, the other day I received an anonymous response that I’d like to share.

Comment moderation is enabled on my blog. I chose not to approve this one because of the way the blog is configured; doing so would mean the author would then be able to post more comments without requiring approval, and I’d rather that not happen. However, as the comment was intended for public audiences, I have no qualms about reposting it. Here it is:

A new comment on the post “Adversity, Advocacy, and Affirmation” is waiting for your approval:

Author: queefs are more entertaining than this blog…
E-mail: lolz@yahoo.com

Comment: bitch, bitch, bitch… just shut up and eat a dick you stupid whore.

If you were a shitty employee, they’d fire your ass. But since you must be doing something right, they will tolerate stupid shit like this. Which is very unusual for most places.

Now aside from your gripes about your CHOICE of side job and its cons, are you going to prattle on about some stupid shit related to your boyfriend? I can’t wait for your ass to get dumped, then your blogs will haunt you.

I’m not going to comment on this, other than to respond directly to whoever wrote this unsigned message. (I suspected that the return email address was fake, so I sent a test message. It bounced.) So, to “lolz@yahoo.com”: Please know that you have my pity. I love my jobs, I love my boyfriend, I love my family, I love my friends, and I love my life… anyone who reads this blog can see that. I’ve come to understand that anger such as yours often hides a much deeper layer of self-hatred, isolation, and shame. I truly feel sorry for you. I hope that someday you’re able to find inside yourself the same kind of joy that I’ve finally found after all these years. Everyone deserves that… even you.

Also, the next time you post a vitriolic, anonymous message to someone’s blog, you might want to consider obfuscating your IP address.

15 replies
  1. Sam Glass Jr.
    Sam Glass Jr. says:

    (=sigh=) Someday, maybe the trollster who posted that will understand that it takes much less emotional and psychic energy, to lift up someone whose loves and life you may secretly covet or envy, rather than spending all your time tearing them down.

    Reply
  2. Liam O
    Liam O says:

    That is how you deal with a bully! To stand up for yourself with dignity and without hesitation! You are totally a rolemodel to me!

    Reply
  3. Moby
    Moby says:

    Having blogged for almost a decade now, I can say hate mail is pretty much expected. I actually see it as a good thing. If I’m not getting hate mail, I’m talking about important stuff. lol

    I too feel sorry for said folks. They are often locked in a cycle of self-hatred, envy, denial, and/or shame. I’m glad you are better than that.

    Reply
  4. Edwin Koh & Agustin Fernandez Galvez
    Edwin Koh & Agustin Fernandez Galvez says:

    Hi Jesse, I totally agree, I feel sorry for haters, it must be tough on them to carry that ‘burden’, going thru life with not an ounce of irony. Being extremely sensitive (which you might have witnessed), I do get hurt by other people’s views too. I try not to take myself seriously and hope others will take a lighter approach to life too. Still, it is sad when I come across misanthropes (is that a word in english?), like the one who commented in your blog.

    PS, you have motivated me to start writing again, really hope to read more about your thoughts. My best wish that your new relation lasts decades; long term relationships in the gay community warms my heart, feeling fuzzy inside now 🙂
    Eddy

    Reply
    • Jesse
      Jesse says:

      Thanks Eddy… knowing that I’ve helped you pick up writing again just made my day. And yup, misanthrope is definitely a word. 🙂

      Reply
  5. richard houthuyzen
    richard houthuyzen says:

    Hello , Jesse ! You do good work on your blog .And i love your story’s ….
    So keep writing on your blog , Jesse.
    Big hugs from Richard ( netherlands )

    Reply
  6. Harold
    Harold says:

    I really enjoy reading your blog but I have to let you know I really enjoyed reading this morning’s posting. I used to be a hater and for me is was about me hating myself and the direction I was taking my life into that made me a bitter person. I lost so many good friends great jobs wonderful opportunities because I hated me. It was until I decided to change did my life change.

    Reply
    • Jesse
      Jesse says:

      That’s awesome! I don’t mean to sound like a self-help book, but yeah, that kind of change really does come from within, y’know? 🙂

      Reply
    • Eddy
      Eddy says:

      Sorry Harold, I just had to reply to you (thanks for sharing) and sorry Jesse for using up your space;)

      It is incredible to think that I could hold on to so much hate for years against the world and myself up to 40 years old. And then I suffered a near breakdown 5 years ago after nearly losing my money and my mind. It accentuated the hate that I harboured for years initially and the arrogance that caused it. I was forced to get back into the work force and I still remember having panic attacks during Monday morning meetings when I had to do my presentations ( I mean I have only worked for 3 years in my life as a MM trader for a financial institution before that, and trained to always compete and conquer).

      The last 5 years have been truly humbling and it was only 5 months ago (can you believe it?) that I managed to complete this change, and things just got better. I got married (well, civil union) after living with a person for 18 years on a platonic level, and I actually feel happy to see people in the streets and talk to them (really, I’m not kidding).

      So yeah, this blog might turn out to be a self-help website after all 🙂
      Thanks Harold and Jesse and anyone else who is spreading positive vibes
      Luv Ed

      Reply
  7. Frank Knottyfor
    Frank Knottyfor says:

    I guess I’m an eye-for-an-eye kind of guy, but Jesse I’d track down the IP address and note on-line that I know who the scumbag-writer is.

    Reply
  8. JOHNJOHN28
    JOHNJOHN28 says:

    maybe u can trace the. thru an ip address. its probably someone from the uk tho. i just dont get folks sometimes. if something the next bitch is doing is not effecting u in a negative way then it shouldnt bother u. but u went about it in a nice wayjesse kudos

    Reply

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