Sunday evening Q&A

I was recently interviewed by Tat2dgy (a.k.a. Richard, who snapped this pic of us at this year’s Folsom Street Fair) for his excellent blog Tat2dgy Vues the Industry. We talked about my personal life, my growing interest in exhibitionism… and my ultimate porn fantasy. With his permission, I’m reposting the interview in its entirety here. Be sure to check out Richard’s blog at tat2dvues.blogspot.com!


How — if at all — has being in the adult industry changed your views about sex?

    The entire experience has been incredibly liberating. Sex was never really talked about in my family when I was growing up, and coming out proved very challenging for me. Eventually I came to accept myself, and even be proud of my sexuality. Once I realized this, I became a lot more relaxed about sex and have found that I enjoy it more than ever. Working in the industry is just a natural extension of that for me; I’m becoming more comfortable with myself all the time.

How — if at all — has your experience in porn changed your view of yourself?

    I have a motto of sorts: “In Porno Veritas.” I’ve learned a lot about myself through my work in the industry. For example, I realized that I’m a far more confident person than I’ve ever given myself credit for, and with that confidence comes a level of pride I never thought I could attain. I don’t just make porn; I make the very best porn I possibly can, and I’m damn proud of that fact… which means that I can be proud of who I am, no matter what I choose to do.

    Deciding to enter the industry was a difficult, but measured, choice on my part, because it pushed me considerably outside of my comfort zone. However, I’ve found over and over again that when I venture out of my comfort zone I’m rewarded immensely; as someone once said, “Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb; that’s where the fruit is.” (That quote has been attributed to Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Jimmy Carter, Mother Theresa, and any number of other people… but that doesn’t make it any less valid!)

What — if anything — had you fantasized about that you got to experience thanks to your experience in porn?

    I’d say it’s having sex in public. I’d always been a fairly private person when it came to my sex life. Performing in front of a small film crew for the first time was difficult, but was also an eye-opener. I had to keep reminding myself that these guys were professionals and have seen all this stuff before; that made it easier. As I grew more comfortable and the performance anxiety subsided, I started exploring exhibitionism outside of the studio. Last May, my boyfriend Dirk Caber and I did a live show at Steamworks in Chicago, and more recently I got a blow job on stage from both Dirk and Rowdy Worth in front of several thousand people at the Magnitude party in San Francisco. I loved it!

What — if anything — in the porn industry do you want to experience that you’ve not already done?

    I haven’t filmed a three-way (or more-than-three-way) scene yet, which is something I’d love to do. Also, I’d give my left nut (well… not really) to be in a sports-themed film, given my rather broad sports experience (I’ve played football, rugby, hockey, baseball, basketball, rugby… just to name a few).

Based on your interaction with fans, do people have any misconceptions about you? If so, what are they?

    Most people, oddly enough, assume I live in either San Francisco or LA, and live some sort of glamorous porn star lifestyle, whatever that is. Believe me, I appreciate the pretty awesome life I’m enjoying right now… not only do I get to fuck some of the hottest guys on the planet, I’ve met lots of amazing people all over the country. But when it comes down to it, I’m just your average guy. I own a home, have a steady job, great friends… it’s a good, stable life I live here. (In Boston, by the way.)

    Another misconception is that, even though I might look the part, I hardly consider myself to be a “daddy” like most people think I am. I may pushing 40, but I’m still a young ‘un at heart!

Do you have a favorite type of scene partner — or a favorite scene partner — to work with?

    They’ve all been great — Titan’s paired me with some of the most amazingly hot, smart, sweet, sexy men I’ve ever met — but there’s only one real answer here: My boyfriend Dirk. He rocks my world, both on-screen and off.

What — if anything — would you shy away from doing onscreen?

    Some of the more fetish-oriented stuff would be difficult for me. I’d probably shy away from fisting, scat, sounding… that sort of thing. That said, Titan is a safe environment to try new things with established experts, so I’d be open to most anything else. I never thought I’d like electro play, for example, but when I was first introduced to it in the Titan Rough film Loud and Nasty, I actually really liked it. I even bought a violet wand and have been using it at home.

How — if at all — has your porn career been effected by your non-porn career/job (or how has your non-porn career/job been affected by porn)?

    The two are, in fact, quite complementary. My “day job” gives me the flexibility to fly out to San Francisco, film a couple of scenes, and come right home (usually on the red-eye) to resume my normal responsibilities. Titan, also, has been great at working around my schedule. I’ve only faced one significant challenge: Last year, someone sent an anonymous (and somewhat threatening) letter of complaint to my day job’s Customer Affairs department; the letter called for my termination on the grounds that I make porn — how salacious! — in my spare time. My company’s response, though, was amazing. You can read the whole story here: http://jessejackman.xxx/2012/10/15/adversity-advocacy-and-affirmation

What is one thing about you that your fans might be surprised by?

    I may look tough, but I’m a total teddy bear at heart… although I suppose anyone who reads my blog or follows me on Facebook can figure that out pretty quickly.

How — if at all — has your porn career affected your relationship?

Do you get recognized when you’re out in your home city?

    Occasionally… and probably more than I hear about. I’m not shy about telling people about my side job, so I’m pretty sure a lot of people are aware of it, especially in inherently social places like the gym. Boston can be a rather reserved city, though, so while I think some people might know me as “that porn guy,” they’d never actually say anything about it to me directly. There’s a lot more to me than just the fact that I make porn, but I think a lot of people don’t see that; all they see is the guy who has sex on screen. It’s a bit frustrating.

Where can your fans see your work?

7 replies
  1. Pete
    Pete says:

    Jesse — Sorry to have been so out-of-touch, but somehow I got dropped from your “notify” list, so I hadn’t gotten word of any of your posts since 10/15. (I was not trying to be a snob by not commenting for awhile; just figured you had taken a break from posting. Glad that wasn’t the case!)

    Hard to believe you felt you weren’t very confident before doing porn. Well, you sure exude confidence now! Even more amazing is the idea that you were willing to make porn at all, if you didn’t already feel totally confident before.

    Everybody has “performance” issues from time to time. The thought that that just might occur in front of a film crew, or even worse, in front of a live audience, makes me admire what you have done even more. Pretty amazing!

    I love the seeming dichotomy of your tough demeanor while being a teddy bear too. Makes you sexier, in my book!

    Reply
  2. Alex
    Alex says:

    Please Jesse, DO NOT DO FISTING!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!!!
    It would be so hurtful to me if you allow your arsehole to be fisted. Jesse, you are a human being, not a sex toy to be abused, so please DO NOT IT!!!!

    Reply

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