My 2014 Folsom Scrapbook (NSFW)

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The 2014 Folsom Street Fair is in the books, and I’ve gotta say that it was one of the most exciting and memorable ones I can remember. For starters, I accidentally walked into the wrong house right at the start of the weekend (the whole story is here). We also had an amazing new venue for Magnitude, a party I’ve worked at for the last several years that benefits over a dozen great charities… and over 3,000 people attended! Dirk and I had a blast playing Naked Twister for Steamworks (I’ve posted the pictures in a separate blog post). But most of all, what I’ll remember from this year’s Folsom Street Fair is the people. Dirk and I reconnected with some the dearest of friends — including three people who’ve been right there with us since the very beginning of our relationship — and made some amazing new ones. I know Folsom just ended, but I already can’t wait for next year!

Here are some pictures I took during the weekend; I’ve written captions for each of them that you can read as you click through. Hope you like ’em! And if you’ve never been to Folsom… try to go sometime. It’s amazing!

Let’s twist again, like we did last Folsom (NSFW)

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Dirk and I had so much fun playing Naked Twister last year at the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, so when Steamworks invited us back this year, we jumped (and stretched and reached and lunged) at the opportunity. And once again we had a blast! The crowd seemed even bigger than last year and really got into it. A new “twist” this year was that spectators got to call out the instructions. (Left hand on red jockstrap, anyone?) I think my favorite command, though, was “Jesse make out with Dirk.” Loved that one.

As always, anyone from the crowd who came up on stage to play with us walked away with a Steamworks gift pack, including hats, t-shirts, golf towels (at least that’s what we called them), and of course free passes to Steamworks Berkeley. I’m hoping that Dirk and I will be invited to play again next year; if so, we hope you’ll come twist with us!

Here’s a bunch of pics that various people sent me or posted on Twitter. Trust me, it’s as much fun as it looks!

Post-Twister Portrait 2014

Three years ago today…

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Three years ago today — September 22, 2011 — I met a man who would change my life for the better, forever.

I’m talking, of course, about Dirk.

Back then, there was a lot of change in my life. I’d only filmed two scenes with Titan (Surveillance and Incubus, neither of which had been released yet), and had just signed an exclusivity agreement with the studio. I’d also started to date a guy in Boston who was generally supportive of my decision to work in adult films (I was upfront about it from the day I met him), although he had his doubts and wasn’t sure how it would play out. I was clear about my desire for an emotionally committed but sexually open relationship, though, and he agreed to stick around until my movies started coming out to see how things would go.

I was filled with questions about my new job: At 38 years old, had I made the right decision? What will my friends and family think now that I’m about to go public with my decision? And most importantly, would working in porn ruin my chances of building a relationship with the guy I’d been seeing… or with any guy, for that matter?

At the studio’s request, I flew to San Francisco to work for Titan at the Folsom Street Fair. My friend David — but everyone calls him “Cubbie” — picked me up at the airport. I’d been talking to him a lot over the past several weeks about my questions and concerns; he’s a true friend and I love him dearly. On the ride into town, Cubbie seemed excited. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” he said. “He’s been working in the industry for about a year, and I think he’d be able to help you with a lot of your questions. He’s a wonderful guy.” I admit that I kind of rolled my eyes, thinking he was trying to set me up on a date or something. Then Cubbie showed me a picture of this mystery man. I recognized him instantly; it was Dirk. I’d actually never met him, but was a big fan of his Titan films, especially Sting.

Sting PicDirk (on the table) along with Hunter Marx and Shay Michaels, from TitanMen’s Sting

Cubbie and I met up with Dirk at a club called Beatbox later that night. I was starstruck, but Dirk’s deep and soothing voice put me at ease. What I especially remember from that night was his touch; when we first met he put his hand on the small of my back, and for some reason all of the nervousness fled from my body. We danced a little and talked a lot, and although we occasionally made separate rounds of the club, we always seemed to find each other again.

We agreed to meet the next day at the BigMuscle Meet and Greet party, a really fun event that’s run by the owners of BigMuscle.com who are longtime friends of mine. Rather than immerse ourselves in the crowd, though, Dirk and I found a quiet spot on the balcony and talked for hours. The conversation was fascinating and fun; it turns out we had a lot in common.

Dirk, like me, was working at the Titan booth at the street fair, so we hung out together all day Sunday too, laughing and signing autographs. I was even caught on camera caressing Dirk’s ass at the end of the Name That Butt video. What can I say… it’s a beautiful butt.

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On Monday I met Dirk, Cubbie, Dirk’s friend Dolan Wolf, and a couple other friends for lunch at a Castro institution called Squat & Gobble to recap the events of the weekend and talk about how much fun we’d had. Eventually the conversation turned to my new relationship back in Boston. I was convinced that I could balance the adult film work with my life back home, and be emotionally faithful to the guy I’d been dating — and share it with him, if he wanted — but how could I convince him of that? Right in the middle of this engaging discussion, the email arrived. The guy in Boston had decided not to take the “wait and see” approach after all. He’d broken up with me, by email, while I was on the other side of the fucking country.

I was crushed. I tried to hold myself together, but that lasted maybe 5 seconds before I burst into tears right in the middle of the restaurant. I couldn’t stay. I ran all the way back to Cubbie’s house, flung myself on the bed, buried my head in the pillow, and started wailing. My friends came to sit with me, one or two at a time. And, amazingly, Dirk held me tight as I wailed and screamed and shuttered. And, in a way, since that day, since that day he’s never let go.

Once my tears had dried, Dirk and I started talking. About porn, about fidelity, about sex, about relationships, about work and play and death and love and life. And we’ve never stopped, not really… not for three whole years.

A lot has happened since that fateful day in September of 2011 when I first felt his hand on the small of my back. In October of that year he surprised me by flying to Houston to watch me play in the national LGBT flag football tournament. We spent Halloween together in Chicago, where he lived, and laughed the night away as he worked an event for Manhunt. (We’ve since worked at several events for them, and they’ve always been great to us.) That Thanksgiving we met each others’ families. That Christmas we watched Dirk’s giddy nieces and nephews rip open their presents underneath his sister’s enormous Christmas tree. In March we filmed our first Titan scene together (we’ve since filmed three more). On Christmas day in 2012, after more than a year of biweekly trips back and forth from Chicago to Boston to see each other, he announced his intentions to move to Boston. And on Memorial Day 2013, we packed up a giant U-Haul filled with his furniture and musical instruments and books and sex toys and drove 800 miles eastward, to begin our new lives together.

The lives of Dirk Caber and Jesse Jackman have been intertwined for three years now, and I love him more than I ever thought I could have loved anyone at all. And, astoundingly, he’s equally in love with me. It’s almost like we’d been waiting for each other. We’re building a truly amazing, rewarding, open, trusting, loving relationship while continuing to work with Titan (and, in his case, several other studios) and also exploring our own boundaries, always growing and changing together. It’s been nothing short of incredible, and it’s only getting better.

So, on this third anniversary of the the most amazing love I’ve ever known, I just want to say thank you to the sweetest, sexiest, most amazing man I’ve ever known. Dirk Caber… I love you. You’ve been holding me tight for three years, through good times and bad… but mostly good. And you know what? I’ll never let go of you, either.

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Jesse Dirk Montage

I’m no angel… I’m just drawn that way

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The amazing Yan Herbe, who’s been a fan of my Facebook page for a while now, recently sent me these incredible drawings, and I gotta say I’m totally blown away by them. Yan calls me “Angel Jesse, down from a dark sky bringing light with him.” While I’m definitely no angel — I have my devilish moments too! — I just think that Yan has created something truly beautiful here, and I wanted to share his amazing work with all of you.

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Jesse Angel 5 with Eye 3

I’m not sure if he has any more drawings planned in the series, but if he does, I can’t wait to see them (and I’ll of course share them if he does). By the way, here’s one of the images that he used as his source material. It’s incredible to me that he was able to take this picture of me in a kilt and turn me into an angel of light. What a remarkable gift!

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Update 10/19/2014: Here’s a couple more creations that Yan has spun since I originally wrote this post. Amazing as always… and I’m thrilled that he included Dirk in one of them!

Jesse Angel 06

Jesse Angel 04 (With Dirk)

Heavy Load, scene 1 with Dirk Caber and Felix Barca: X-Rated trailer and 38 new pics!

Don’t you just love official scene descriptions?

After a safety inspection, Dirk Caber isn’t ready to leave Felix Barca: “There’s one more thing I’d like to inspect,” says the stud, moving in for a kiss. Their hands roam, the bulges in their jeans touching as they kiss. Dirk licks Felix’s pit, arm and chest, soon burying his face in his bud’s groin — licking his shaft before it pops out. Dirk slurps on the uncut beauty, teasing the foreskin and taking it deep, his beard rubbing Felix’s shaft after he sucks on his balls. Dirk reaches up to grip Felix’s chest — then rubs his beard and head on Felix’s cock before taking it deep. They kiss as their big boners grind against each other in hot swordplay — Felix’s rod poking Dirk’s sac. Dirk feasts on his hole, then fucks Felix from behind. The bottom smiles as he gets rammed, his ass rippling. Felix sits down on the top, his own big boner bobbing as he goes down. On his back, the bottom gets stroked and fucked by Dirk at the same time, their sweaty bods soon covered in cum.

Check out my hubby Dirk’s entire 34-minute — ahem — “inspection” of Felix here with your Titan membership. Not a member? Sign up now for instant access.

And now for the pics… enjoy!