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Mad Wednesdays

Interview: A porn star band, and other Mad Wednesday madness

Hooray for our fans! The other day, when I posted all of the radio interviews (and one TV spot) that Dirk and I did when we were in Australia, I mentioned that I couldn’t find our appearance on Joy 94.9 FM’s Mad Wednesday drive-time show. But one of our followers, Maude L., found it in the Joy 94.9 archives! THANKS, MAUDE!!

I’m glad she found it, because it was the goofiest and most irreverent interview we did during our tour. I’ve already added it to the original media post, and am also sharing it below. I love how we starting assembling a porn star band (at the 11:07 mark). I wanna make that happen, just like in Command Performance! (NSFW)


Mad Wednesday on Joy 94.9 FM (February 22, 2017)
Porn power couple Jesse Jackman and Dirk Caber popped in for a chat before their trip around Australia and kicked the drive into high gear. It’s never been more fun juggling double-entendres than with these two. Joyfully talking about blowing… instruments that is. We loved having them on air.


ABC News 24 George Michael Float Thumbnail

The Australian Media Mega-Post! (Audio/Video)

When Dirk and I were touring Australia earlier this year, we were interviewed no less than six times by three different radio stations: Joy 94.9 FM in Melbourne, 4ZZZ in Brisbane, and triple j which broadcasts live nationwide! We discussed issues that are important to the LGBT community: gay rights, so-called “gay conversion therapy,” navigating open relationships, and the importance of practicing safer sex. And of course, we dished about the inner workings of the porn industry. (We also were on the Mad Wednesday drive-time show on Joy FM, but unfortunately there’s no recording of it that I could find. Was fun though!)

Sorry that it’s taken me a while to get around to posting this — Dirk’s surgery has been a real bummer — but here are each of those interviews in their entirety. We also had a brief TV cameo on ABC News in a story about our Sydney Mardi Gras float, a tribute to the great George Michael organized by the awesome community organization DIY Rainbow, which I’ve posted too. Hope you enjoy… thanks so much for listening/watching! And thanks to all the stations for having us on your shows!

Update: One of our fans located a recording of the Mad Wednesday broadcast, which I’ve added below. It’s the goofiest of the interviews and was really a blast to do. Thanks so much for finding it, Maude!



The Hook Up with Hannah Reilly on triple j (March 5, 2017)
Dirk Caber and Jesse Jackman are two of the biggest names in gay porn. They also happen to be in a serious long term relationship. We chat about what it’s like managing life and work, how sex is different on and off set, and talk about some of their past.


Word For Word: “More Than Porn” on Joy 94.9 FM (February 25, 2017)
In this exclusive interview with Dean Beck, ex-gay survivor Jesse Jackman, reveals the struggles he had reconciling his faith and sexuality and for the first time publicly discusses his suicide attempt in 2009. Currently touring Australia with his fiancée Dirk Caber, Jackman is acutely conscious of the tragic-porn-star stereotype, but he believes that his experience is not unique to those in the porn industry. Although hesitant to reveal such personal information, he felt it was important to share his story in order to highlight the importance of seeking good professional help. The incident took place prior to him starting in the porn industry and resulted in Jackman being hospitalized. Today Jesse and Dirk are among the most sought-after gay porn actors in the world and madly in love.


Inside HIV Podcast: “The Raw Porn” (March 6, 2017)
A very frank and raw conversation with two of the world’s biggest gay porn stars — Jesse Jackman and Dirk Caber — about HIV, sex, and the porn industry today.


Hide and Seek: “The Pressures of Being a Porn Star” on Joy 94.9 FM (February 22, 2017)
Tim Little and Andrew the Intern catch up with the super sexy and lovely Dirk Caber and Jesse Jackman in an intimate discussion about the pressures of being a porn actor, bondage, music, and art as they commence their first Australian tour in 18 months.


Queer Radio on 4ZZZ 102.1 FM in Brisbane (Broadcast in Several Installments)
As part of their Australian tour and a first for Brisbane, TitanMen stars Dirk Caber and Jesse Jackman were able to fit in an interview with Blair Martin late last week. Before they took to the stage in Brisbane, Dirk and Jesse (who are engaged to each other) sat with Blair and discussed their entrances into the industry and how they first met. More of this interview is to come in the following weeks.


Mad Wednesday on Joy 94.9 FM (February 22, 2017)
Porn power couple Jesse Jackman and Dirk Caber popped in for a chat before their trip around Australia and kicked the drive into high gear. It’s never been more fun juggling double-entendres than with these two. Joyfully talking about blowing… instruments that is. We loved having them on air.


Dean Beck & 'Hide and Seek' Crop Edit

“Sounding” off with Dean Beck: The Hide and Seek radio interview

JOY 94.9 FM‘s Dean Beck can perhaps be best described as the Australian-born love child of Dan Savage and Adam Carolla. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s opinionated… and he helms one hell of an entertaining radio show. He’s also been an outspoken advocate of sexual health for years. While we were in Melbourne, Dirk and I were honored to join Dean and the cast of his weekly Hide and Seek broadcast to talk about, among other things, how not to set someone on fire, and why you should never try sounding with a ballpoint pen. (Told you it’s an entertaining show.) Hope you enjoy it… and for more of Dean, be sure to check out the Hide and Seek podcast at http://joy.org.au/hideandseek.

Dean Beck at the controls, with Dirk and “Andrew the Apprentice”


Star Observer, Page 10 Crop

Closet Cases: Dirk & I come out in Australia’s Star Observer magazine

Dirk and I just came out in Australia’s largest LGBT publication, the Star Observer! Well… we’re out and proud already, of course, but we shared our coming out stories with the magazine.

The interview is the product of a chance encounter with Star Observer reporter Benjamin Riley, who writes a monthly column called Closet Case. We got to talking at the Laird in Melbourne a couple of weeks ago, set up a lunch date to talk some more… set up ANOTHER lunch date to talk even more (what can I say, it was a great conversation that no one wanted to see end)… and the result is the article I’ve posted below. Dirk, Ben, and I hope you enjoy it! (The images below can be difficult to read, so I’ve included a text transcript at the bottom of this post.)

We covered a lot more topics during our marathon session, and Ben has hinted that there may be another article coming sometime down the road, so watch this space! In the meantime, in addition to the article below, you can check out the bonus content from the interview, called How to Get Started in Gay Porn.

Closet Case: Jesse Jackman and Dirk Caber
By Benjamin Riley for the Star Observer, July 2015

Jesse Jackman is a writer and software engineer, and his husband Dirk Caber is a composer and classical musician. Living together in Boston, Jackman and Caber are also two of the most recognisable names and faces (among other things) in gay porn.

JESSE JACKMAN

IN 1994, in his third year of university, Jesse Jackman went to live in Japan for a semester on an exchange program. Closeted and already feeling isolated, far from home his loneliness only got worse. In despair, Jackman remembered when, years earlier, a teacher from a nearby school came to speak to his school assembly about being gay. It was the late 80s, and a big deal for the school to give their students a positive message about homosexuality — for a 12-year-old Jackman, even having no one to share it with, the message gave him hope.

He had always kept the teacher’s contact details, and so at 20, posted the man a letter from Japan. “I wrote to him, terrified that he was going to write back, scolding me somehow, and saying that it wasn’t okay that I was this way, and I had to change… so I sent it and I dreaded having sent it the instant I put it in the mailbox,” Jackman recalled.

“About two or three weeks later I got a wonderful handwritten letter back from him, saying, ‘I understand your feelings of loneliness and your feelings of despair, don’t worry, there’s hope’.”

The teacher gave Jackman his phone number and said that if he hung on in Japan, once he got home he would find support.

Jackman never made contact with him again. “I was so heartened and terrified by receiving that letter that I never responded and I never reached out,” he said.

“Instead, that’s when I connected with my friend in Japan who was a religious fundamentalist. The only way that he could see to help me — and I really do believe he was trying to help me — was to get me to devote my life to my lord and saviour Jesus Christ.” This friend, another exchange student, was the first person Jackman ever came out to face-to-face. He joined the same local Christian church in Japan his friend was attending, and tried as hard as he could to believe.

“I wanted it to be me so much, because that would mean that I wouldn’t be alone any more,” Jackman said.

“So I faked it. But I faked it so well that I convinced myself that it was real.”

When Jackman returned to the US, he dove headfirst into the church with his friend, and ended up in a conversion program at an ex-gay ministry.

After a year filled with anger and shame, Jackman got out. But it was another three years before he felt able to begin safely exploring who he was as a gay man. Even years later, Jackman didn’t tell anyone about what had happened. His partner Dirk Caber only found out recently, and in fact it was Caber moving into Jackman’s apartment that prompted the revelation — while cleaning, Jackman found an old folder full of notes from the ex-gay ministry’s conversion group he had been in. Finding the courage to confront what had happened to him, 20 years later, Jackman wrote about it and shared it with the world for an article in the Huffington Post.

“I feel like I lost three years of my life — my gay life — and I’ll never get that back,” he said.

“So I’ve been working to make that up ever since. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of that. But part of the reason I do what I do, with the outreach and the activism, and to an extent the porn, is I’m not just trying to prove myself as a gracious citizen of the gay world, I’m proving to myself that I’m a good gay man and a worthy gay man.

“It’s a battle, every day, every single damn day. I may never win it. It may be an uphill climb forever. But it’s worth the journey.”

DIRK CABER

For Dirk Caber — the porn alter ego of composer Jack Parton — his coming out experience couldn’t have been further from his partner’s. With parents who were New England libertarians, their responses to Caber’s confession were variations on: “That makes sense.”

Years later, when Caber decided to go into porn he had to come out to his parents a second time, and the prospect made him a little more nervous. He’d already been in the industry for a few years by that stage, and had been filming for some of the most high-profile studios in the US.

“I was getting worried, because Jesse and I, through some of the activism we were doing… we were becoming known outside of the porn world as porn stars, visually,” he said.

“We knew it was probably only a matter of time before somebody sent [my parents] an email with a picture saying, ‘is this Jack’?”

Caber decided it needed to come from him, so he drove to his parents’ house for dinner.

“Halfway through dinner I said, ‘I actually need to talk to you about something, and this is a little awkward, because I don’t know how you’re going to react.’ Then I proceeded to catalogue all the great things that have come into my life because of porn.”

Before giving any explanation for what he was talking about, Caber rattled off a whole list of changes: relocating from Chicago to Boston, achieving some financial security, reaching out to a whole new group of people engaged with his music, even meeting Jackman, a partner his parents adore.

“‘So what I’m trying to say is, I have become a porn star’,” Caber recounted.

“The moment I said, ‘What I’m telling you is I’ve been acting in gay porn’, my mother’s first response was to heave this huge sigh of relief and say, ‘I thought you were going to tell us you had cancer’.”

After the dinner-table conversation, Caber’s father went away and googled what his son had been up to. “He’s looking at my blog and he’s looking at Jesse’s blog, and he’s looking at all these mentions of us online and reading some of the things we’re writing and taking about and he says, ‘you guys are famous’,” Caber said.

“His final word on it was, the only thing he didn’t like about it was that he had nobody he could brag about it to.”  ★

The "Well Well Well" crew on JOY 94.9 FM

Well, well, well… look who was on JOY 94.9 FM in Melbourne!

As you may already know, Dirk and I just spent over a week in Melbourne, Australia helping the Victorian AIDS Council promote safer sex practices, healthy relationships, and safe play. We participated in lots of discussion forums, Dirk gave a couple of practical BDSM seminars, and we went to a ton of bars and clubs to promote VAC’s community health initiatives. Plus, Melbourne is very lucky to have one of the world’s only 100% LGBTQI-focused broadcast radio stations, JOY 94.9 FM… and Dirk and I were on three shows in three days!

The first of our appearances (on June 2) was on the Well, Well, Well program, hosted by members of VAC. Dirk and I talked a lot about our experiences in the adult film industry, why we believe it’s important to use condoms in porn, and the age-old question — top or bottom? You can listen to the podcast through the SoundCloud player at the top of this page; alternately, you can find the Well, Well, Well archive here. I’ll be posting our other podcasts over the next several days!

As a little extra treat, I shot video of Dirk’s segment on the program… watch the video below (in case it doesn’t play, the alternate link is here). My hubby’s voice is so sexy, isn’t it?

The 'Well Well Well' Crew